A recent coaching session put me inside a textbook case of mixed messages at work.

My client graduated from college a few months ago and landed a first real job. One project kept sending mixed signals. When a colleague called with questions, my client asked me to listen in so we could talk it through afterward.

The question was simple: Where should the project go next? Then one of several bosses joined the call, and a quick question turned into a full meeting.

Within minutes, the plan unraveled. Leaders in different departments had already set different rules for the same project, and this leader added a third version. My client and a teammate offered ideas they had spent days building. His answer was a flat no. It worked a certain way before, and he expected the same again.

Neither of them had worked there back then. They had no way to know the history behind his answer, so they had no way to meet it.

Then came the part I keep replaying. He said he wouldn’t be around for this project and expected them to handle all of it. He was there to support them, he added, and they could call if they needed help.

He handed over ownership and took it back in the same breath.

What mixed messages at work do to a team

I’ve taught a few young drivers over the years, and it gets easier each time. The first one still sticks with me. She was a younger cousin, only a few years older than my oldest child. She was also the first person I ever taught in a car I actually owned.

It was scary. I worked hard for that car and paid on it every month. My instincts kept telling me to nudge the wheel and fix her line. Logic said the opposite. Grabbing the wheel from the passenger seat is far more dangerous than letting a new driver drive.

Once I calmed down and stopped managing every move, she calmed down too. She drove far better.

Teams work the same way. Telling people to take ownership means little if they can’t own anything. A small correction along the way helps them learn. A complete plan handed down after days of their work wipes it out.

Mixed messages at work reach well beyond one phone call. Gallup’s 2025 engagement data shows clarity about job expectations fell nine points since 2020. No other measure in the survey dropped further. When Gallup asked workers what would help most, 35% named better communication.

New hires feel it most. In an earlier Gallup survey covered by Fortune, new and younger employees were especially likely to call their role expectations unclear.

The phrases behind mixed messages at work

Mixed messages at work rarely sound harsh. Most of them sound supportive at first. The pull shows up later, sometimes in the same conversation and sometimes a week down the road.

Here are five versions, along with what a new team member takes away and a better way to say it.

“I won’t be around for this, so it’s all yours.” A full plan for how to do it follows right behind.
What they hear: The responsibility belongs to me. The decisions still belong to you.
Try instead: Pick one. Hand it over with clear limits, or stay involved and say so.

“No. This is how it worked before.”
What they hear: The answer lives in history I’ll never see.
Try instead: “Last time we did it this way to stay under budget. Does the same reason still apply?”

“Call me if you need anything.” Every call ends with a new direction.
What they hear: Asking for help costs me my plan.
Try instead: “Call me if you get stuck, and I’ll start with questions.”

“Do whatever you think is best.” A week later: “This isn’t what I had in mind.”
What they hear: There was a right answer all along, and you kept it to yourself.
Try instead: “Here’s what a great result looks like to me. The route is up to you.”

“I trust your judgment. Just send it to me before it goes out.”
What they hear: You trust me, just not enough to let go.
Try instead: “Send me the first one so I can see your approach. From there, it’s your call.”

If you lead people and one of these sounds familiar, take it as a sign you haven’t let go yet. Plenty of good bosses haven’t.

For anyone early in a career, use the list as a decoder. Hearing one of these phrases tells you to ask a question, not to doubt yourself.

The weight Gen Z carries into the room

Look at where my client stands right now. Everything at work is new, from the title to the unwritten rules. A quiet question already runs in the background: Do I have the skills for this?

Shifting expectations turn up the volume on the doubt. When the target keeps moving, a young professional can’t tell whether they missed it or it moved. Most assume they missed it.

A FlexJobs survey of more than 7,000 workers ranked unrealistic boss expectations as the top Gen Z stressor, at 26%. Another 23% named a lack of knowledge to complete tasks. HR Dive covered the generational breakdown across all three generations surveyed.

My Gen Z clients bring up the same worry often. They thought they understood what the boss wanted, did the work, then found out otherwise. Many don’t yet know how to speak up and ask questions before they start.

Some of this comes down to practice. Many young professionals came up through school chasing the right answer: read the passage, fill in the blank, get the grade. They are incredibly talented. Most just haven’t had many reps sitting in ambiguity, reading a room or pushing back on a boss. Those skills come from experience, and experience takes time.

So when mixed messages at work pile up from three different leaders, a messy process starts to look like personal failure. The anxiety builds fast.

How leaders can stop sending mixed messages

Before your next project changes hands, especially to someone early in their career, try these.

Align the leaders first. Department heads who disagree should settle it among themselves before anyone brings it to the team. Your team shouldn’t have to referee.

Set the limits, then step back. Name what can’t change up front: budget, deadline and the result you need. Everything inside those lines belongs to the team.

Correct, don’t replace. “Walk me through why you chose this” teaches more than a brand new plan ever will.

Retire “This is how we’ve always done it.” Your newest people weren’t there for the history. If a past approach worked, explain why, including the results and what you learned. Then let the team decide whether it still fits. Without the story behind it, the phrase sounds like a closed door.

Say who owns what out loud. Owning something means having the final say on it. Keep the final say on everything, and you’ve assigned tasks. You haven’t given ownership.

Silence creates its own version of this mess, which I wrote about in the cost of unspoken expectations at work. And when a team stops offering ideas altogether, psychological safety at work may be the real issue.

When you’re caught in the middle

New to your career and nodding along? You hold more power here than it feels like. The skill lies in knowing when to listen, when to ask and when to push.

I learned this lesson in journalism school at Marshall University, and the news of Mike Ditka’s death this month brought it right back. Ditka, then head coach of the New Orleans Saints, came to campus to watch Randy Moss work out before the NFL draft.

I played on the soccer team and had been in the training room next to the football field. I knew the workout was happening, so I slipped upstairs to an office to watch quietly from the window. A few men were already there. As I turned to leave, a voice I recognized said, “Come in and join us.”

The men stepped aside, and there sat Mike Ditka. He pulled up a chair beside him.

For the rest of the workout, he pointed out what he watched for and explained his thinking to the men around him. He asked what I knew about football. He was kind and generous with his time. Eventually I asked if I could interview him for the school paper, and he said yes.

By then I had a head start. Everything I’d heard him say gave me better questions, and better questions got me a better story.

Work runs on the same rhythm. Listen first, and your questions get sharper.

Listen first

Early in a project, or when a leader explains how things worked before, collect information. Hold your idea for now and take notes.

Listen for four things:

• Outcome. What does this leader care about most?
• Limits. What can’t change, no matter what?
• History. Why did the old approach work?
• Final say. Who else gets a vote?

Quiet in this stage counts as research.

Ask what you didn’t hear

Once the leader finishes, fill the gaps. Short, curious questions about the work land best. A few worth keeping handy:

• “What does a great result look like to you?”
• “What made the old approach work so well?”
• “Which parts are set, and which parts are ours to decide?”
• “If two departments want different things, who makes the final call?”
• “How often do you want updates, and in what form?”

None of these challenge the leader. Each one invites the leader to share what’s in their head.

In my client’s situation, the second question could have changed the whole call. “This is how it worked before” shuts the conversation down. “What made it work?” opens it back up.

Push when you have something to stand on

Pushing back is part of ownership, and timing matters. Wait until you’ve listened, understood the goal and found a reason the old way may not fit now. Speak up sooner if conflicting directions will cost the team time, money or quality.

Start with what you heard, add your reason and offer a path forward:

“I hear the old approach worked because it kept costs down. Our timeline is shorter this year. Could we try our version on one piece and compare results?”

The script proves you listened. It ties your reason to the work. And a small test is far easier for a boss to approve than a full reversal.

Know when to let it go

Sometimes the answer stays no. If you’ve made your case with real information and the leader holds firm, accept it for now. A second argument in the same meeting rarely changes a mind.

Then protect yourself with a short recap: Here’s what I heard, here’s my plan, tell me if I missed something. Conflicting instructions at work become visible on paper. If the old way runs into trouble later, you’ll have a clear record and a ready alternative.

Keep the mess in perspective

Confusion around you doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. A shifting target says more about the process than about your skills. Keep asking until the target holds still.

For more help reading what a leader actually wants, start with how to communicate clearly with your boss.

Keys, wheel and trust

Handing over the keys takes trust. Keeping your hands off the wheel takes more. Leaders who learn both build teams able to drive without them.

Young professionals in the driver’s seat need a clear destination and room to steer. Give them both, and they may find a better route than yours.

If your leadership team wants to stop sending mixed messages at work before the next big project changes hands, let’s talk.

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